turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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