so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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