Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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