I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
