i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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