i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
