i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i love accidental penises.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm really busy with my period
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