Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
