At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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