My room smells like vodka and shame
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
