Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
