i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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