2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
