She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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