I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
