whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
