Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
