brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
