During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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