I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
