dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
