Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
