The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Everclear isn't food dammit
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
