oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
