Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
