Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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