Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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