I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
