You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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