Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
