Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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