I'd wear matching sweaters with you
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
do herpes really smell.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
