i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
