Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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