may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
