On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
