i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
