thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
