Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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