can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
