Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
