So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
