Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
