OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
