So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Can you bring me the toilet please
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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