I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Everyone says I win the strip club
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
