Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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