Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
