shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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