In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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