I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
